Feast of St Michael and All Angels 2018

You think you’re going to have a few minutes to contemplate a blog post, then you get distracted by a sermon, Harvest Songs of Praise, and the next batch of rotas. The latter two are probably not of much interest, but the sermon might be.

Sermon

Genesis 28.10 – 17, Revelation 12.7 – 12, John 1.47 – end

Congratulations to you all at St Michaels’. You’ve coped with me as organist for a whole six years now. 285 Sundays. It’s been quite a six years of my life as it has been in the life of this church in so many ways. Much change, some expected and a lot of it most definitely not.

I’ve grown very fond of this feast of Michael and All Angels over this time and this annual opportunity to consider the role of them in our lives and the life of our church.

Now, at one level, I’d never had much time for angels. Maybe it was the school nativity style angel which did it for me. Always the petite blonde cute well-behaved children dressed in white robes, tinsel halos, somehow, I didn’t quite fit the image. Or was it the porcelain angels which were so popular when I worked in Wesley Owen years ago. Great for sales, but somehow it bothered me at how bland they were and not at all how they were portrayed in the Bible. Michael and all the angels waging war in heaven, Gabriel turning Mary’s life upside down at the Annunciation. The angels appearing to the shepherds. Angels as God’s warriors and messengers are not bland at all! Which is something which seems to have happened in recent years, angels as warm, loving, constant – where people feel God and human beings have let them down, where people don’t want necessarily to believe in God, but still hold on to something other being there – angels are there instead. I blame Robbie Williams, myself, for this state of affairs. (And, yes, I did an organ version just for fun after the closing voluntary! Not sure many people got what I was doing….)

Yes, angels are constantly there, constantly between heaven and earth as a sign of God’s presence, and dismissing or underestimating the role of angels in our world is as prevalent as the idealised, fluffy or porcelain versions.

But, Michael and all the angels waging war in heaven is something I can get with a lot of enthusiasm and I don’t think it’s any mistake they’ve all become an important part of life nor that I have stayed in a church dedicated to Michael and all the angels. I don’t think it’s any mistake that many churches I’ve known dedicated to Michael and all the angels are in places where the battles of poverty and injustice are fought on a daily basis. The nearest church to where I lived in Glasgow was the Roman Catholic church of St Michael’s, Parkhead and every day we walked past, to glimpse up to see Michael with cross and sword in hand, ready to do battle. Something which was a great comfort to at least one of my young friends

Never having been one to ignore injustice, I’ve probably been fighting about something or other my entire life, including my own shadow on many an occasion, and have never been the most peaceable of people to live with.

It’s probably why I love my day job, a sector of education where we constantly have to fight for the right of our students to be educated in ways which are accessible for them, to be treated as young adults, to have their opinions considered valid.

On Friday, my Facebook status went like this – “My fashion gurus (amongst my students) sent me off in my steel toe capped boots as they matched my best jeans and top better than the walking boots. They did have a valid point so I meekly obeyed.”

There was much hilarity from friends who’ve known me for a long time. For some, it was the fact I was bowing to the wisdom of those who had better dress sense than me. Most people come in that category… in this case both students were utterly adamant I was not leaving the room in these jeans and top whilst wearing gray walking boots. I needed black shoes and my steel toe caps were the only ones available. Me, I had no trouble with it – I knew it wasn’t going to be a problem, but having asked for their opinion, their advice needed to be considered every bit as seriously as they considered my attire.

For others it was the use of the phrase “meekly obeyed”. “Since when did you ever “meekly obey” was the comment from several people. They have a point too.

Where was I going? Well, it was to an interview to convert some of my hours from my teaching assistant pay rate to tutor pay rates. For the past ten years every September brings the “Why aren’t you teaching?!?!” battle into my life. Patiently, I explain I like my job as it is, I like the balance of my life, I don’t want to teach – I hate the paperwork and the tick box nature of targets etc. Everyone sighs, and eventually lets me get on with doing my job my way… helping wage the war of turning my students into as independent adults as is possible. Anyway, I do some music teaching that’s enough.

Why did I succumb this year? It’s a long story, but some battles even I’m not going to keep going for forever – I did the job for this particular group last year, and will only do it if it’s appropriate for each variation of this group.

This has been a week where I’d got close to giving up various fights, where I’d been seriously wondering why do I bother so much, well until my two fashion gurus reminded me of the really important stuff. It’s been a week where a massive decision was made which I profoundly disagreed with, because “You’re a nice person, you’re a Christian, you’ll understand.” Michael and all the angels have reminded me that actually, I’m probably not a nice person at all,  but, yes, being a Christian does not mean being meek, mild and “nice”, it’s not fluffy, bland or porcelain, but whilst there are still battles to be fought, where angels are to be found, where heaven meets earth, where there are glimpses of the angels ascending and descending to heaven, (and if they could lend me their ladders so I could dust those ones protecting our old organ pipes, I’d be happy) until peace breaks out for the rest of eternity, there I will be along with God and the angels ready to do battle where it is needed.

Let your light shine

Once upon a time, I was assigned an annual task of being on the team for a Christian youth camp for 14 – 25 year olds. I sighed, muttered darkly, but took it on and hoped to wriggle out of it three years later. Which I almost, almost managed, in fact, for ten months I had, but circumstances were such I went back as main leader, which I did for the next four years. (Plus another couple of years later on as Chief Cook and Bottle Washer to an experimental split of age ranges to the 18+ version. Then, I really did formally leave!!)

It’s still in existence, I get an honourable mention on the commemorative 40th Anniversary tea-towel, which I’m very proud of, especially as I instituted the Daily Tea-Towel Boil Wash in 1993, my first year, when the theme was “Let Your Light Shine” . Yep, we sang Shine, Jesus, Shine, a lot!

More importantly, a huge number of significant people in my life date back to our time together every summer on that camp site, to planning weekends and reunions all over the country.

I preached to this bunch of people a good bit – at least once per camp – it’s fair to say I learnt a lot about it. I also got invited to preach at Alison’s First Eucharist, which she mentioned on her sabbatical blog recently.

“Oooo” said me, “I’ve still got that sermon, it survived the cull.” and I promised to put it on-line for her and her blog readers. (If it was hidden on my memory stick, it survived, all my paper based ones got shredded in one massive paperwork cull about ten years ago. )

Sermon for Alison’s First Eucharist 2005

I promise I’ll be finished this sermon quickly, can you lend me a watch so I can time it?

I promise it’s going to be sunny.

I promise it’s going to be a great day at school/work tomorrow.

I promise I’ll give your watch back to you.

I promise…..

Which of the promises did you believe in? Why?

Would you believe the promises if you knew me a bit better?

Don’t know about you, but I need to trust the person who’s making the promise before I believe in their promise!!! It was very brave of you to lend me your watch, because I didn’t tell you before I asked to borrow it that I’m very good at losing watches and watches are very good at going wrong on me. And I’m very good at forgetting I’ve borrowed a watch and forgetting to give it back!!

Do you still think you should trust me? Are you going to give me a chance to see if I can remember to get it right today? Thank you!

Once, Alison and I used to run a Youth Camp. Some of our Youth Camp people are here today! Anyway, one of the things Alison and I go very good at was organising surprise parties on the camp… there was the year of the Silver Wedding, and an Engagement party… Well, let’s be honest here. Alison was the really good one for organising a party, and I got better at it as time went by. The time came for Alison to stop doing the Camp, and she made me promise faithfully that I would not organise a surprise party behind her back. I kept my promise. But she doesn’t believe me and hasn’t believed me for 6 years or so. That’s because I’d not promised to stop anyone else organising a surprise party. I only added the food to the Cash and Carry list, um, after a guarded phone call about this in Alison’s hearing in her house, and I made sure I bought it, so I really didn’t organise it at all!! She got her own back the year after when it was my turn to leave, by coming back to be part of my leaving party…because I thought I’d remembered everyone who I had to make promise not to do it to me, and I’d not even thought they’d sneakily get Alison in on the act!! I am sad to tell you she enjoyed every minute of it!!

Oddly enough, we’re still friends after all that – and I think we still trust each other’s promises, except when it comes to parties

Today’s readings are all about God’s promises. Let’s start with the first reading, God’s rainbows – his reminder to himself about his promises to us. I guess when Noah first went off in the ark, and was rained on for 40 days and 40 nights, and thought he’d never see dry land again, it would have been so easy to give up on God, and not trust in him any more. And despite all the human race’s best efforts to destroy themselves and our world, efforts to give up on God, there is still plenty of evidence around that God hasn’t given up on us. Even in the darkest days, a rainbow can make us smile and remember God’s promises to us.

The second reading is about more than Jesus’ God’s promises to us. It’s about how we respond to God’s Promises, what we are going to do. It’s not just about God promising us what is good and best for us, promises are a two way thing – and we’ve got to play our part, too. The really scary bit is that God trusts us to do that, to carry out his work in the world. He chose us to do it!! Not us choosing God, but God choosing us.

I thought I was going to spend my life teaching music… but the more I got to know God, and what he wanted from me, the more I discovered it had to be what God wanted from me, not just what I thought I had to offer.

I can promise God to love and serve him until I’m blue in the face, but if I don’t actually do anything about it, then it’s just empty words and means absolutely nothing. I’m dressed in this strange brown dress, called a habit, because I did just that – made promises to love, and to serve God for all of my life. And for me, that means in a religious community, and all that that may bring. Which often has had nothing whatsoever to do with what I thought God might ask of me!! For you it means something else, (school, work, retirement – wherever you happen to be and whoever you happen to be with) and for Alison, it’s meant, amongst other things, the long, winding route to ordination…. and today isn’t the end of that road, it’s more like the end of the beginning!!! And only God knows where the next twists and turns of the path are going to take her, and you at St Michaels, and those of us who have known Alison for lesser or longer times. None of which will do her nerves any good at all, but it’s true. You’re just going to have to trust God on this one, and not organise him!

The Eucharist/Communion service is the place to come back to God again, and again. It’s where we are reminded of his promise to us, and our promises to him. It’s where we hear of God’s stories, where we pray for our world and ourselves, it’s where we come together as a church. It’s where we put our trust in God, and where he puts his trust in us. It’s where we forget ourselves, and put ourselves in God’s hands, and where we let him be put into our hands. It’s where heaven meets earth! And that’s a promise. Amen.

The astute reader will note that,  in those days, I belonged to a religious community which I no longer do today. The promises I made to God, however, still hold me firmly and whilst I made Life Vows with Life intention there were excellent reasons “hidden in the will of God” for not remaining in community.

 

 

 

 

Seasonal changes

So, here we are, almost at Candlemas. I’ll get two celebrations as we’re doing it in church on Sunday – Clarinet is a-go for the Processional, (it works remarkably well in our context) Responsorial Psalm is printed out, prepared and ready,

But, I’ll find somewhere to celebrate Candlemas on 2nd February as it’s a feast I’m remarkably fond of for reasons all of my own and far prefer to celebrate it on the day if at all possible. Then, I’ll come home, take the Crib scene, the stars, angels and the few cards left up (the bulk of those came down at Epiphany) and then all will turn green for a couple of weeks before it all gets going again for the next round of  seasonal fare.

I’ve been winding up my students by telling them Valentine’s Day is cancelled this year in favour of Ash Wednesday. The complexities of Liturgical Trump Cards is way too much for them. When they asked why we couldn’t celebrate both, I didn’t have the heart to tell them you don’t exactly celebrate Ash Wednesday, so repented of my teasing, and agreed we’d decide on the day, but I’d be in church in the evening. Actually, I never quite think Lent has started until I’ve been to Church on Ash Wednesday, so maybe they are right….

On to the next Deanery Prayer Walk

I’ve set myself a new walking challenge – to walk around all the Deaneries in the Diocese, praying as I go. I’ve walked my own Deanery a couple of times now, and intend to do it fairly regularly.

So, in a fit of needing to walk a decent distance today as Round Two of snow and ice cleared overnight (Hooray!), I planned the city centre Deanery walk. It was lovely to start with Morning Prayer and Eucharist at the Cathedral, and also to have my backpack on during the Eucharistic Prayer. I was obeying instructions to keep my bag with me at all  times initially, but symbolically it worked as well.

I learnt quite a few things today!

• Whilst I could physically walk round the 11 churches, 1 hospital and 1 university (though I prayed for the other + the FE college as well) easily in six hours, if I want to stop and pray properly at each one, which is the main reason for doing it, as well as take some photos, six hours isn’t quite enough for this one. I was aiming to get back for Evening Prayer at the Cathedral, and only managed the last ten minutes.
• If I’m using the Cathedral Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer times, I’m better doing this on any day but a Saturday, so I am putting less pressure on myself time-wise.
• I did this walk the wrong way round! For walking purposes, I’d’ve been much better doing the churches furthest away from each other first when I was freshest, and also would’ve moved on faster anyway as they were all closed, and the ones I did first today, which were all open, nearer the end.
• I do actually need to walk a prayer walk route in a less familiar area as well as plan it on paper to be able to pray as I go, and concentrate on that, rather than constantly checking my trusty A-Z. I didn’t need to do this with my own Deanery as most of the churches were on walks I already do regularly, and I’ve walked the area a lot over the last two years, so was already comfortably familiar with it.

So, yes, city centre Deanery, all your churches were visited and prayed for – it’s just some of them were more perfunctory prayers than others which, in my view, will not do. I will do this walk again, the other way round, and on a day with more hours between Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer! It may have to wait until half term now, though, and I will then be able to do it on a weekday.

I’m not going to pressure myself to do all the Deaneries in a year, which was my original thought, but see it as a longer term, more gentle project. What is more important is I find a way of doing this which works for praying best.

A bit of a trial and error day, but I’m definitely not unhappy about it, I’m glad I’ve found out some of this now, so can adjust how I plan these walks, and prepare myself to do them best.

Christmas Morning Talk – The Innkeeper’s Daughter

So, I offered to do the talk on Christmas Morning. I knew it wasn’t going to take up much preparation time, as I had two or three options on an old USB Drive which I rarely look at any more, but the better of my sermons/talks of that era in my life did survive a massive cull of many such resources. I don’t regret the cull, as the better ideas haven’t gone away and are probably better for the fresh re-writes or re-thinks.

Anyway, about this time 10 years ago, the Innkeeper’s Daughter came to life in my imagination. I was responsible that year for a Carol Service on the inner city estate on which I lived, as I’d built up a good relationship with the Primary School where the Carol Service was held. I did some voluntary work with Year 5 (ages 9/10) one morning a week and even within that small commitment there was a strong recognition that I did good work with some of the very troubled youngsters, many of whom were children of economic migrants or refugees.

Christmas morning can be a bit interesting in Bartley Green, as we never quite know who is going to turn up and who isn’t – a bit like that very first Christmas Morning, really!

I’m pondering that this Innkeeper’s Daughter might well have more stories to tell, for other occasions, but this is what we got this time. I had various props available should the need for an interactive All Age Talk be needed. In the finish, we had one small child, who’d never been to our church before, and he kindly looked after the Donkey for me which he seemed to enjoy. I also had a shorter version and this longer version…

What’s this fuss all about?

The Innkeeper’s daughter’s story

My dad, he’s the one who looks after this place, he said we had loads of people come to the inn last night. The Emperor’s ordered everyone to their hometowns to be counted and there are so many who have to come back here to Bethlehem. There are people everywhere and we don’t have an inch more space. My family, we’re all sleeping in the one room already, Me, Dad, Mum, my five brothers, two sisters, and the baby, along with any other relations who turn up to be counted!! Five so far. We can’t turn them away, can we?

Anyway, Dad had to ask one couple to sleep with the animals. Think he’d’ve turned them away, only he felt really sorry for them…

Come from Nazareth they had. Long way. He’d walked all the way, she was on the donkey, and, oh my, the lady’s going to have a baby, too!!

Babies. They’re a pest. Noisy, messy, awake and yelling when I want to sleep and asleep when I’m awake, so I’ve got to be grown up and sensible. I’m not allowed to be noisy. Oh and I really want to do other things rather than help look after the baby and the people in the inn. What I really want to do is work with wood, making things, which the boys can do even when the inn is so busy, but being a girl, I’ve just got help out. There’s SO much extra work with all these visitors.

Oh, I’m only ten, I can’t be grown up yet. Or sensible all the time.

Hope the lady from Nazareth doesn’t have the baby here…. don’t think the animals would like it, either. I’m really hating sharing the room with our baby so I’m guessing the animals don’t like noisy babies either. You know, I am allowed out to check on the animals, so I’m just going to slip out to see how they are. Are you going to come with me?

What!!! She’s gone and had the baby. It’s a boy, apparently. Oh no!!! We’ve got one baby here already, and there are two more down the road. We don’t want any more. One starts crying, they all start crying.

Look, she’s gone and put the baby in the manger, so none of the animals can get to their food. Not our animals, nor that poor donkey who walked all that way – he’s looking really hungry as well. I guess it’s not really the baby’s fault. His mum’s got to get some sleep, and the baby needs to sleep too – please! (NB – a favourite Crib Service song here is what is known locally as the Stroppy Donkey Carol . The one year I omitted it, there was significant grumblings and pleas for its return.)

Oh no! There are still more people heading this way. We’ve really not got the room, I tell you. Goodness only knows where they’re going to stay. I’d better go and warn them. Excuse me a moment….

It’s the shepherds from the hills outside Bethlehem. I recognise them from when I’ve been off looking for wood on days when it’s a bit quieter here. Wonder who’s looking after their sheep? Oooo – maybe I could go and do that instead of looking after people and babies here? It would be much more fun, to say nothing of being quieter.

But, I can’t go. I’ve got to stay and finish up my jobs.

I’m really not sure there’s room for them in that stable. But, somehow, they are all managing to get in.

Why? Honestly – it’s just a baby. A boy baby as well, who will be able to do what he wants and not help out.

What – No, really, no. There are more people coming. Bethlehem is just not designed for this many people.

Look, I’ve already told the shepherds there’s no room. Not that they look any notice. Oh.. these people are carrying presents. Don’t suppose they’re for me.

These really are very strange people. Definitely not from around. here. How on earth did they find their way? Do you think they’d tell me if I asked – once I’ve told them there’s no room.

That amazingly bright star? The one I’ve watched every night for ages, until I’ve been told off and sent to bed?

They followed the star to see a BABY?!?!?

No, I just don’t get it. Much as I don’t like babies, I’m just going to have to see for myself what’s so special about this one.

Oh, he’s cute. Looks more interesting than most babies. He’s, what, God’s son. God loves us all so much he came to earth as a baby. You ARE having me on here, right? Someone as important as God, as a baby?

There must be something in it, though, or these shepherds and kings (are they kings? They’re the only people I can think of who would be rich enough for those kinds of presents.)

D’you really think that baby came here for me, maybe? God coming to earth for me? Are you sure about that? Well, his mother says so, I heard her tell the shepherds and those kings. She should know.

I do know God loves me. Wonder what’s going to happen when he grows up?

I may have gained days this week!

Oh my, I am one confused OrganistBG!

Main Work Place’s end of term was on Tuesday. It felt like a Friday, and none of us could actually remember what the timetable should be, as it had all kind of gone into free-fall, anyway.  I have a vague memory of just feeding everyone at regular intervals, tip-toeing around the film watching, finishing off tasks which get done at the end of a half term, and ultimately causing mass confusion by allowing students hot drinks from the staff machine. It’s a rare, allowable treat! Those who can’t cope with change just marched themselves off to the Proper Place albeit not at the Proper Time.  It’s been a long, long (but good) term.

So, three days between end of term and the start of the next phase of activity… Lazy time or…?

I am, as a result of earlier bursts of organisation, pretty chilled by the prospect of the services-fest of Sunday and Monday. Even the fact I was the most disorganised I’ve been for a while last Sunday is not taking away the chilled-ness. I am still recovering from the Mass Setting Folder Mishap but delighted I can still play the Mass Setting in its original key, from the proper music. We do not speak of the Carols Book Post-it notes debacle. Other than the book and pile of new post it notes are in a prominent place to be sorted in a quiet half an hour before Midnight Mass.

(Notes to self –

• if taking folders/music out of the Trolley to put in Backpack on Snow Day Sundays, replace them on the return home, rather than collapsing in a heap, congratulating self on making it to and from church in the snow.
• Maybe a copy of the folder in church as well as Trolley.
• If removing the somewhat mangled Post-it notes marking where the carols from the carols sheet are in favoured music copy at the end of the season, remember to replace them before the next Carol Service. )

In the meantime, I have been utterly convinced that today, which is Thursday 21st, is really Thursday 22nd. I’ve also done Friday’s tasks today (which could be what has led to that confusion) which confused more people than me!

So, have I actually gained a day or so? And would anyone who needs them more than me like a couple of spare days?

I have also, in the last two days, made up for the lack of walking over the icy days which followed the snow days. I have completed the 3 walking targets I set myself last year 10 days ahead of time! Which I am remarkably pleased with considering I messed up earlier in the year with the daily amounts I should be aiming for, and got seriously behind by the end of March. Think I went into over-achieving mode big time all summer…

Tomorrow I really am going to have a gentle, relaxing, celebratory Day Off!

The OrganistBG’s Snowy Few Days

It was all a bit intrepid in these parts over the weekend. Still is, to be fair, but it has warmed up, is beginning to rain as well as the snow beginning to melt, my students return properly tomorrow and normality is being restored at Main Paid Work.

In some ways, I was glad of the excuse to stay put over the weekend! My somewhat neglected household chores were caught up on, along with the slaying of the demons of the never ending lists and admin. Bit dramatic that, but sometimes it feels that way. The little room where the admin, hymn books, piano, computer/printer and desk live, (along with the boiler – no, I’ve NO idea whose bright idea that was, a boiler in the room which is technically a bedroom, though at extra cold times, it is the warmest room!) was more orderly than I’ve seen it for some time by the time I had finished.

Sunday was  always going to be interesting with the snow. I took one look and decided the Organist’s Shopping Trolley was NOT going out. It was the bare minimum of music + the shoes I play the organ in. Steel toe capped boots (best grip and waterproof) were not up to the job.

We started with me, the vicar and One Other and would not have been surprised if that had been it. By 15 minutes to go we’d decided on a Said Communion, by 5 minutes to go, two more had turned up.

10 minutes after we’d started we were up to 9 adults and one child! So, we sang the Advent Wreath song, and a couple of hymns – Offertory and Final, with bits of me improvising around the other hymns chosen for the day at strategic points.

I was going a bit stir-crazy by Monday Morning, and as the  Main Paid Workplace was closed to day students, (we have some residential who were on site and needed support whilst the others weren’t in) so, I did walk to work. Buses were minimal and, ultimately, suspended for most of the day. I made it, but was a bit concerned about the grip of my boots on what was becoming very icy surfaces! Luckily, I work in the best possible place and knew where to go to borrow some snow grips for my boots. I never used to walk as much as I do now, so had not bothered about such things before. I now have some on order for future need.

They are items of sheer glory! I’d taken an hour and a half to do my usual 55 minutes walk to work. The walk home took just over an hour and I felt as steady and safe as I normally do. In fact, I was one of the speediest and safest along the route.

I went back to my excellent colleagues to report the success and as I was doing so, pointed out they were assisting in the campaign to keep the Organist from breaking limbs and damaging fingers at what would be the most inconvenient time of year. It caused much amusement.

I’ve long used the “If you saw off my fingers, you can explain to the vicar what you’ve done to the organist” line of reasoning when I’m supporting students who are, shall we say, not so adept with the tools they are learning to use.

So, thank you snow, I’ve had a most productive time, but  I’ll be glad to see the back of you and be ready to return to the more usual routines.

Dealing with being late

This happened a few weeks ago, and I considered NOT posting but just leaving it in draft form, but have found myself pondering on and off about it ever since. I do think, as I am usually in church at least an hour early to get ready and prepared, for me, five minutes late is unusual and somewhat stressful.

Sunday evening with no commitments and my organist’s mind tends to turn naturally to Evensong or some kind of gentle evening service.  I did a quick check of local church’s websites to discover there was just the one in the vicinity rather than the usual several to choose from, so off I trotted. It is a church I’ve been to before, maybe twice in the last five years…

I did mis-time the walk there just ever so slightly. Partly I left five minutes later than intended, partly I decided to walk through the park which made the walk slightly longer, and I forgot I was walking up the steeper hill at the end!

I did wrestle with myself about walking in slightly late. I could hear the sound of the first hymn, I hate being late anyway. But, I could see it was remarkably full for an evening service in these here parts, so didn’t think I’d be conspicuous. “Christ is the King” is a good rousing hymn as well and I was joining as I could hear the words.

“You’ve only just made it.” were the words I was greeted with along with clear body language of “Get in and sit down. Now”. Which kind of stunned me. “Hello and welcome might be nice.” was my response.

I kept singing the hymn as I sorted my walking self out – so being pestered by two people showing me where we were in the hymn book was not helpful. OK, I may have been on the wrong verse. And yes, they were being helpful in that determined to be helpful kind of way.

It took me to the Magnificat to calm down.

I didn’t actually look at the service book clearly until this point. I just opened it so I wouldn’t be pestered again. This was a “Churches Together Event”. Now, I’ve no idea how many people were visiting from the several churches who make up that group. I’ve been to events in that group in the past and whilst I recognised faces, I couldn’t have told you which church they came from. Apart from one person who I did know well and to whom I expressed my surprise at what felt to me like being told off for being late at the start. “I didn’t feel at all welcome.”

At this point, I was introduced to the vicar (who mainly admired my in the dark walking attire which I was getting into) and I explained how unwelcome I felt. He just asked had I maybe misinterpreted it all as it would be out of character for the person on the door. He didn’t seem concerned and moved on. I was kind of stunned by this response too.

I’ve thought about this since. Yes, I’m aware I was a bit prickly when I walked in given my deep dislike of my own lateness and I am not blameless in getting this wrong. The welcomer may have thought he was trying to put me at my ease with a humorous comment – but it didn’t come across to me that way. Welcoming people to church is a minefield as everyone is so different – If I’m going to an unfamiliar church I personally prefer just a smile, “Hello”, and the stuff handed to me if stuff there is! I’ve no problem with asking questions about anything if I need to, or coming back to ask them if I’m bemused! Others prefer more of a conversation straight away.

But, six weeks on, my abiding impression is I felt unwelcome, out of place, and admonished. Twice. I came away with no sense of having met the love of God in that service. It failed my “Would I take my students to that church?” litmus test. Why?

Humour with people you don’t know isn’t always a good idea. “Hello and welcome.” is clear and unambiguous. “You’ve only just made it.” can be heard in different ways.
If arriving during the first hymn is wrong – maybe consider that person had unavoidable reasons for being late. I cheerfully (now I’m over the grumps) admit this were reasons of my own making and could have been avoided.

I really don’t think that church could cope with the potentially unexpected behaviour of my lovely students. I have moments of wanting the earth to swallow me up when we’re out in public and I’m used to it all…

Some of us DO walk to church and if me quietly sorting out my walking self in a back pew for one minute, whilst praising God in song is disturbing you, consider you may need to be concentrating on praising God yourself, and not worrying about what I’m doing. (Sorry, God, I’m being judgemental. But, we’ve been having this conversation ever since I got asked not to wear trainers to church as the pattern on them was too distracting to someone on the front row when I was kneeling at the altar rail for communion. I was young in those days and new to the church, so meekly complied. 32 years on – get your priorities sorted, people. )

I will, when I’m back at work, test some of my theories out on my more articulate students.

In the meantime, note to self, you need an extra five minutes to walk up that hill and not go via the park, even if in theory you should’ve been able to do that walk in an hour.

Concert going

I have personal reasons for wanting to keep busy and occupied over 30th November/1st December. So, this year, I decided it was a good day to be brave and start concert going again. I’ve not do so for a number of years, but Birmingham is a really good place to do so. I mean, I’ve lived here for 12 years out of the last 20, in 3 different blocks of time, and never before been to either Symphony Hall or the Town Hall for a concert… Time to amend that!

It’s also been a really busy month, so a nice, civilised evening out doing something totally different, and not work related in any way sounded a Very Good Idea to me. And to most people who’d noted one or two of my early warning signs that I might be over-doing things a bit…

Main Work Colleagues sent me off promptly at the end of the working day, as I wanted to walk into the city centre and have a meal before the concert. Being somewhat perverse I did a slightly longer route of almost 4 miles, rather than the 3.4 suggested as the shortest route – but that’s because I wanted a bit of variety in my walking routes as well!

Lovely walk, splendid meal, tickets collected from the box office and a quick extra walk around the German Market prior to the concert was most excellent, and I happily settled myself down into the Town Hall with 20 minutes to spare for J S Bach’s B minor Mass. I’m fond of this setting, and regularly play my CD of it when I need a bit of musical re-grounding. Parts of it were A Level Music set texts, over 30 years ago, and I so did not appreciate it then!  Either the liturgical significance or the music itself.

I did find myself wondering about the liturgical nature of the music and does that have any effect on me when it’s in a concert hall setting. It occurred to me this was probably the first time I’d ever been to a performance of a religious piece of music in a secular setting. I was aware of settling myself into what for me is a very comfortable prayer mode of sitting, which means it’s easy to sit still for long periods of time…. the person sat next to me on one side was also a very still sitter and listener to the music. Unlike the couple immediately in front, and those on my other side. Oh me, oh my. Shoes on and off, reading of absolutely anything and everything, rummaging in bags, rustling of sweet wrappers, and the bit which earned several hard stares from not just me, but at least four other people, the slow tearing of a piece of A4 paper into quarters.

I stopped going to the cinema some years ago, and now wait until the DVD comes out if I really want to see the film (Paddington 2 is next on that list!) when I got utterly fed up of

• the distracting nature of lights from phones. “But, I’m not talking, what’s the problem?”
• the answering of phone calls and not taking self out of the cinema to do so
• the constant sounds of ringtones, alerts, and other noises
• taking of selfies…

as well as the rustling of wrappers, rummaging in bags etc.

I just didn’t think this stuff would’ve invaded the concert hall in the time since I’d last been to a concert!

I’d refrained from bringing my score of the B Minor Mass with me so I didn’t distract other people with the rustling of page turning. Frankly, I think that would’ve been far less distracting!!

The charitable side of me is aware these may have been supportive family and friends who had absolutely no interest in the music what so ever. However, on the occasions where I’ve been in that position, I do hope my boredom didn’t show through as thoroughly and clearly and I’d be mortified if actions of mine distracted other people’s enjoyment. As for the thought of distracting the musicians….

The less charitable side of me. Well, suffice it to say “Heathen” was the most polite thing I was thinking.

I can, however, report I loved the music, (when not being distracted) enjoyed watching the different instrumentalists, and am relieved to discover my liturgical Latin is pretty sound still. And, all things considered, it was a fine way to spend a Thursday night in term time. as a complete break from work.

The Organist in Organising Mode

So, yesterday, I was in Organising Life Mode. Essentially, around this time of year I have a whirlwind organising of the freezers, kitchen cupboards, and a big stocking up shop. It makes Advent and Christmas so much easier if food is there without having to brave the shops more than necessary.

Today, I was in Organise the Organist Mode. So, the papers, which have been breeding in the various places where papers hide, have all been put away properly. I have three boxes with lots of lever arch files, Years A, B and C. They get rotated at this time of year so the correct year is on top. (Well, on top of the other boxes with files in and under the box of instruments for the  Percussion Band at both Messy Church and All Age Worship, but that’s light to move.)

I’ve also been in Organise the Organist’s Trolley Mode. I have a shopping trolley full of organ music and liturgical music, It’s too easy just to dump music and bits of paper back in there and forget about it from one week to the next, or until I can’t find something and have to open all the plastic box files the music lives in (to try and protect the music from getting too dog-eared) to find out just where the vital piece of music is hiding this time. There’s

• The black file contains the music I’m practising
• the purple files are the collections of pieces and
• the white files are alphabetically organised by composer.

So, in theory, a sensible system, if I stick to it!

I’ve also taken some photos of the real view from my organist’s stool on a sunny November mid-day after the Eucharist.

!